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Merry Christmas Anxiety (maybe?)

December 23, 2013

Today I should be sharing a Christmas Home Tour.  Which isn't done.  Let alone staged and photographed and edited and shared.  Tagg broke almost all the ornaments from our tree a few weeks ago and our small little fake tree doesn't look quite right when not stuffed with decoration. We have a few wreaths up because my daughter's school sold them as a fundraiser.  I'm so glad I purchased several.  They are perfect.  But seasonal decor is expensive and I'm still saving up for curtains that I'll want year-round.

Today I should be showing off a pile of perfectly wrapped presents under our tree.  I got just two done yesterday before I was called to the next thing.  I'm so thankful Santa doesn't wrap.  I'm having buyers remorse over all of the presents I bought.  They weren't enough.  Could have been more thoughtful.  I never did place that order for pictures of the kids to give the grandparents and great grandparents.  Our family blurb book is still not done this year either.

Today I should be sharing my favorite holiday recipes.  But I'm drinking coffee and skipping breakfast and will probably give my kids hot dogs for lunch.  I'm okay with that.  My inlaws will be here for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas morning and it never crossed my mind that we should be planning ahead for that.  Sharing a special meal.  In fairness, my husband and mother in law handle these things.  And did, months ago.  We're having beef tenderloin and roasted potatoes with asparagus and breakfast casserole the next morning.

Today I should be sharing our favorite elf on the shelf or other favorite holiday tradition.  But we don't have any yet.  Does building a gingerbread house and playing with the nativity set count?  Baby Jesus and the angel have loved riding on Jake's pirate ship and the donkey has been driving the school bus.  Are we the only family with small children who don't have an elf?  Will our kids even care or remember that we did specific things? 

I wasn't really sure what to post about this morning.  Not because it felt like work to write a post.   Quite the opposite, I have so many ideas running through my head right now.  All fun ones.  Good stuff.  Full of organizing and sorting and getting things ready.  Planning and hosting and designing and creating.  But it feels like those ideas are better left to January.  They don't feel very appropriate for two days before Christmas.

I do this.  Before big things, I cling to order.  If you ask if I'm stressed over the holidays I will easily smile and say no.  I don't feel stressed.  But my head is full.  And I'm feeling anxious that my new 2014 day planner with a notes section starts in January and I have things I need to write down today.  So instead of focusing on what I have left to do in the next two days I am planning a larger than life trunk show cocktail party for spring and organizing the kids' sock drawers and buying twin size sheets for a bed Tagg neither owns nor is ready to sleep in? Deep breathe.

Christmas feels like a big deal this year.  I know, celebrating Jesus' Birth is a big deal every year.  But overnight I have two people dependent on me to make it magic.  They will wake up the day after tomorrow and this will be the first Christmas Wells might remember.  Did Santa fulfill her little sugar plum dreams?  Did mommy and daddy decorate with enough lights and tinsel to make her world shine?  Should we do something fancy or stick with our regular every day cheerios for breakfast?  Will she notice that Tagg's train table is larger than life and her pile doesn't add up?  Tagg's getting a train table.  Nothing else will matter to this little choo-choo man.  He'll be over the moon.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that struggles with this?  It's hard to slow down and enjoy the holidays for some people.  I feel like I've slowed down too much and missed an opportunity to make this season the best one yet.

I'm officially signing off this morning for the holiday!  I hope all of you enjoy some quiet happiness with your loved ones this week.

Merry Merry.


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27 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness Julia! I can totally relate to this. My house is a disaster right now, both my kids are sick (so no holiday party and meeting Santa at preschool), I was last-minute on everything, and I feel like I am out of time. My beloved uncle passed away last week so I am back home for the funeral today and have to fly back to NYC tonight -- I don't even have a seat assigned on the plane because I bought my ticket using miles. So I am just praying I get home to my kiddos in time to make Christmas magic for them.

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  2. As much as I love pinterest and blogs, it always makes you feel like you aren't enough. That what you're doing isn't good enough. Then I try to remember that as a kid, Christmas was amazing despite the lack of advent calendars, elves, and enormous stacks of gifts.

    PS. DONT start the elf. I am wishing ours would go away! Such a pain!

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  3. Ooops hit publish too early! Sorry. Anyway I am 7 mos pregnant and having back trouble, so I will also be a comical sight waddling through the airport tonight, haha! Lastly, Tillie (3.5) and Simon (1.5) could not give a hoot about this elf business. I have to point him out every morning (when I even remember to move him) to Tillie, and she says things like "Why did you put him there? That's silly". Oy!

    Anyway my whole point is that they will just remember spending wonderful time with you. It will be magical, don't worry! Have a very Merry Christmas with your beautiful little family, and thanks for entertaining us all year!

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  4. I think you are right on! Enjoy the cheerios while you can!! xo

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  5. I have been through this with little ones before and am lucky enough to do it again. I learned that it is better (for us) to keep it simple. We have no elf and I don't bake zillions of cookies. I am a little bummed that we don't have lights outside but husband's time at his job doesn't leave the time but we still have plenty of fun traditions that don't make the adults overwhelmed.
    Dessert for breakfast on Christmas is easy and a special treat.Walking through the neighborhood to see the lights and coming home to find that Santa has filled our stockings is super exciting at our house.
    Have a lovely Christmas with those two darlings!

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  6. Simple is the key. We used to have pink milk for our birthdays and Jesus' birthday and it was a real treat (and blue for my brother). That's the sort of thing we remembered from our childhood.

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  7. I so appreciate your honest! I really do. And please know that you are doing a terrific job. Happy Holidays to you and your precious family.

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  8. This post right here is probably my favorite post of yours this year. It's honest and true and I relate to it completely. We all got hit with the stomach bug this weekend and missed 4 parties and a whole lot of time I needed to organize and prepare. Oh well. That's not what matters. A little stomach bug means nothing in the grand scheme of things and I'm thankful that is what hit us and not something more.

    Merry Christmas Julia. You're a beautiful friend to have. Honest and uplifting and you keep it real. xoxo

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  9. As one who has grandchildren older than your children, I have the benefit of hindsight. Let me offer this. Do away with expectations of how things "should"be and rather enjoy what "is".What you are doing is good enough and is probably more than enough.. your children will remember the love you give them more than the decorations.And you? Enjoy those sweet children while they are small and believe in the magic of Santa. It all changes too quickly but then you can as a family focus on the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and what that means in our lives. I decorate very little now but still enjoy what I see others do. I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone and that gives me more time to enjoy family and remember why we are celebrating.

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  10. Give the kids candy canes to hang on the tree, make hot chocolate with marshmellows, and sing Christmas songs... those are the things that kids will remember the most. It's the little things.

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  11. Oh my this is so right on. Feeling the exact same way! I'm not really stressed, but instead finally acknowledging that I can't do every creative little thing running through my head. Enjoy these next few days with your sweet babes...and it will surely be magic for them! Merry Christmas! Xo

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  12. Give yourself a break. You've survived another year with small kids and all the dramas that involves. Life isn't styled or edited. Enjoy your beautiful, healthy family in your new house. Merry Christmas and thank you for taking the time to write your blog each day with such frankness - I could totally relate to the post about scrutinising your own photo, instead of the moment it captured. Helen.

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  13. Dont be too hard on yourself, you do everything right in my book. We all can relate to you and it's really good to bare your soul now and then to let us know youre not perfect. You have had a huge year and so much to be thankful for. God bless you and your sweet family and I hope you can enjoy it all and have no regrets, cause your kids won't even notice all those things YOU are worried about. Keep it magical with love and being around family! Love to you and best wishes in the New Year! xo Nancy

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  14. Us Mamas make it so hard on ourselves don't we? Trying to make it all amazing? Lucky little munchkins to have you for a mother!!!! The details of the presents will fade away but they will remember how they felt on Christmas in their childhood home…..and it will certainly be happy and loved. Enjoy it all!

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  15. Ok, I am 40 and have two boys that are 15 and 13, so I can tell you....you are working it too hard! What do you remember about your childhood Christmases? Were they Martha Stewart perfect? I doubt it. Think of it like the "perfect" present you find for a child, and then all the child wants to do is build a fort out of the cardboard box it was shipped in. That's it. Your kids are enjoying every moment you are giving them. They are not checking their Pinterest boards to see if it measures up to their pinned images of perfection :) I love home decor & lifestyle blogs (most days), but ladies, y'all all need to chill the eff out. Seriously. Life is too short! Enjoy the moment, whatever it may be. Merry Christmas!

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  16. Hah! Oh boy can I relate! I still haven't wrapped a single thing (thank God Santa doesn't wrap) and I'm pretty sure there will be no pretty packages this year...if they make it in a bag, that will be good enough. No Santa cookies this year (Oreos must work) and it's 85 degrees at the in-laws. How did Christmas sneak up on me and why am I not enthusiastic about doing everything that I normally do? Oh, well my sweet E will love everything just the same and won't know the difference at 2.5.

    Merry Christmas to your sweet family!

    Xo, Julia
    http://www.georgiapeachmommy.blogspot.com

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  17. Julia
    This was probably the best post you could possibly do! I am sure there are so many sharing your sentiments out there. This will make everyone feel like it is OKAY!

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  18. I am going through a divorce right now. I switched over the course of the last year or two from full time stay at home mom to working divorced mom who only has two weekends a month with her kids. It bites. I don't do elf on the shelf. I don't do Santa (it always felt like lying to me). I do have someone come each year to help me put up the tree with my kids. They get far too exuberant about the ornaments and it's best to have one adult per child when that's going on. I guess I'm just saying that simple is good. Often the things kids remember are not the ones you planned. Christmas is not about the perfect gift, elf on the shelf, cookies, or Santa. The first Christmas was about God coming in the midst of imperfect circumstances. You children will remember the way Christmas made them feel. If you are stressed, even if everything is "perfect," they will be stressed. Just enjoy the imperfectness of this Christmas. I think a lot of moms relate to you...thanks for sharing.

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  19. A very loving mother once told my husband that all your kids really care about is that you are there and you love them. So try not to worry, let stuff go undone and enjoy your family :)

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  20. Your babes Christmas memories will be magical because they will be filled with love, which is much more powerful than tinsel or treats! Traditions will evolve naturally and what they'll remember most is the special time spent with family.

    I'll admit, for my Christmas decor post this week, it was literally move the mess into the next room while I take pictures of this room, and then flip flop the mess back, ha! We had a stack of mail, gifts and boxes to wrap, school stuff, etc that literally got shuffled from room to room for my post!

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  21. Lord, honey, let it go! You are the mother of small children who go boom and break things. It is okay, really. Love them and forget everything else. Don't compare yourself to anyone, don't fret over details, don't let anyone tell you (and that includes your own inner critic!!) that you are not worthy. You are worthy! Have a glass of wine (or two! or three!) and bask completely in the moment, the weird, messy, incomplete, frazzled, glorious here and now. Because, honestly, at the end of it all, that's all there is, just moments spent together with your nearest and dearest. Love the moments, Julia, love your babies and your sweetheart. Nothing else matters. Best wishes!

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  22. And this my friend is why I love you so much! You are real and honest, and have one of the biggest hearts I know! Reading this made me actually cry as I realize us moms including me all do this to ourselves, and at the end of the day our kids really just need/want us! You and i are so much alike it's not even funny...I cling to order so much! Love you mama!!!

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  23. Julia - I could totally relate. I didn't post my holiday home tour until Christmas Eve - so much for inspiring others the day before Christmas! I also felt completely rude to my visiting relatives as I was racing around snapping photos and moving their clutter out of the frame. Sometimes blogging can be very overwhelming. More important to enjoy this time with the family. I really appreciated your candor.
    Antonia@ www.re-polished.blogspot.com

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  24. I could totally relate. Having a new baby this year (even though he won't remember) gave me so much added pressure to make everything "perfect" and in trying to make it all perfect I drove myself crazy and was wrapping gifts and pulling last minute things together on Christmas eve- which was miserable and I swore I would never do that again! It's hard to let go and just enjoy the holiday and family and friends. I also think looking at social media and everyones perfect trees, wrapped gifts and holiday decor doesn't help the pressure either.
    Hope you were able to enjoy the holiday!

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  25. I am from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband hubert berry , i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Mabel who encharm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man from africa called greatdoctor uziku . who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss maria ask me to contact this great doctor uziku. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact doctor uziku on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact greatdoctoruzikuspelltemple@gmail.com Or you call him on +2348105602898 He is the best spell caster, which i have know and trust so much too.for all he has done for me and my colleagues also.He spcialized in any kind of spell casting such as.HIV AN AIDS SPELL,
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    ReplyDelete
  26. I am from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband hubert berry , i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Mabel who encharm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man from africa called greatdoctor uziku . who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss maria ask me to contact this great doctor uziku. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact doctor uziku on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact greatdoctoruzikuspelltemple@gmail.com Or you call him on +2348105602898 He is the best spell caster, which i have know and trust so much too.for all he has done for me and my colleagues also.He spcialized in any kind of spell casting such as.HIV AN AIDS SPELL,
    LOVE SPELL.
    CHILL SPELL,
    CANCER SPELL.
    PREGNANCY SPELL.
    MONEY SPELL.
    LONG LIFE SPELL.
    MARRIAGE SPELL.
    GETTING YOUR LOVER OR HUSBAND BACK SPELL.
    PROSPERITY SPELL,
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    ReplyDelete

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