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Kindness

November 17, 2016

Okay, here is a disclaimer I didn't think I needed to verbalize previously but now feel the need to quickly address before moving on.  And by quickly I mean not so quickly because y'all know I just can't wrap anything up in a sentence.  You as readers are so so very welcome here.  I invite you here and I am happy when you stay.  I have built online friendships with women I've never met and met women who have become very dear "real life" friends all through this blog.  I am beyond grateful when you chose to purchase products directly from this blog simply because we like the same things.  But you are not the reason I am here.  I am here for me.  This is my space to display all the pretty things I find online and to occasionally share a behind the scenes look at my home, my family, or my thoughts.  I think it's awesome that so many people seem to also enjoy these things.  Not because I think I'm important but because it's nice to feel like you're not alone.  There are times in this social media age where many of us feel bombarded with other people's lives yet so very alone.  I want this to be a place you can come and hopefully think, "yes, me too!" at least some of the time.

This is a for-profit blog that you are invited to enjoy reading every single time you wish without contribution.  It is for-profit not because I want to scheme new ways to make money off my readers but rather in order to legitimize the time I like to spend on it to my husband I need to show some financial (albeit small) value for my time.  I would venture to say that the majority of the blogs you read are also monetized in some way and it's up to you to like that or not.  I realize there are many who are still upset over this shift in the past few years.  I have never pretended that you are getting anything more out of it than what is on the surface.  There will be some people who expect certain things from me because I have enabled affiliate links and that's okay.  With that I realize I have ultimately incorporated or monetized or however else you want to describe it myself and my life.  I will own that.  If I am clear that this blog is ultimately for me and about me than I will accept any opinions about it for better or for worse.  There will always be people who don't find me funny or talented or worthy of this space and that is their right.  You can criticize me in any way you need to and I will continue to enable anonymous comments in order to give everyone a chance to voice their praise and dissent alike.  What I won't tolerate is meanness towards readers who like this blog just because you don't.  Edited to add: mean comments that are left just to be mean towards me or my family or other readers will be deleted.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  Disagreeing with me or other commenters is perfectly fine, I don't expect everyone to be on the same page.  But please be respectful.  Direct your dislike at me for things I have said or done and not at readers just because they find this blog enjoyable.

If you don't like to shop at the Gap, by all means don't shop there.  Tell all your friends and family you can't stand it.  There are so many appropriate places for you to talk about why you hate the Gap.  Everyone doesn't need to like everything all the time.  But would you really walk in to the store see nothing that interests you yet again and instead of walking out you march up to customers in line asking them why on Earth they like this crap?  Probably not.  If you walk into a small business you usually like but are put off by something you see one day, go find the manager or the owner and tell them why you think they've made a side step.  They're usually happy to talk it over with you and find a way to make you feel heard or give you a chance to offer some suggestions for changes.  Now apply that to blogs.

Let's take it a step further and apply it to life.  There will always be people who don't like me.  I'm going to be me anyway.  But I also try to listen because often those that disagree with you can teach you something new.  None of us are so perfect that we have no room to grow.  Hearing someone else's perspective doesn't have to change your mind but it should open it.  It should also help open your heart.  So be nice.  Criticize constructively.  Give people the benefit of the doubt. 

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5 comments:

  1. Definitely well said! Out of all the blogs I follow I really love the thought you put into each post. It's not always just a collage - you really put your heart out there and I admire that. BTW, love that you're blogging again - I really missed your posts :)

    Personally, I don't mind the affiliate links. As I've gotten older and more focused on my real estate career and family I don't have time to stay up-to-date on fashion/lifestyle trends, etc. Affiliate links are genius - why shouldn't you get reimbursement or a "finders fee" so-to-speak for directing me to a great gift for my kids, friends, or myself?? These large companies SHOULD pay you for directing thousands of buyers to their websites. It's called business!!

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  2. Constructive criticism - why not tell your readers where something is from. Just because you say that a shirt is from JCrew, doesn't mean you won't get something from it. I am sure tons of people will still click the affiliate link. I personally have commented on your IG asking where something is from because I don't feel like having to wait for rstyle to email me, and I never heard from you. Also, can you make the "affiliate links used" disclosure bigger? Not everyone is aware of the affiliate link program and the teeny tiny 2 point font is hard to see.
    Now that every blogger affiliate links, how can your readers really know that you truly stand behind a product. Yesterday you posted a pair of Sorel boots, yet you don't own them or know anyone that has them. Not a sermon, just a thought.

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  3. So well said! As bloggers we work hard creating unique and creative content (and trying to keep up with multiple social media channels!) so affiliate links are a nice "bonus" for the time and energy we spend. Love & appreciate your blog! XO

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