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Meal Planning Made Simple Week 8 & Motherhood

March 18, 2013

Happy Monday my loves.  
Did everyone have a nice weekend?  Mine was off to a fab start on Friday night but I had a little bit too much wine and paid the piper all day Saturday as a result.  When am I going to learn to cut myself off at 2 drinks.  Period.  Thankfully my two little leprechauns had no clue it was a holiday weekend and didn't ask for any extra celebrations.
I stumbled upon In Defense of the iPhone Mom yesterday via Facebook and it really hit home.  I've included the original post here on my blog rather than just providing the link because I feel so strongly about what this woman has said but I urge you to go back to the orignal source and let her know if it impacted you as well.  I am so thankful for all the woman here who lift me up and rally together in a show of support when I'm down or questioning my my mothering skills.  Y'all are some kickass woman, and not just moms, and I love thatSo many of y'all don't have kids yet and could easily fall into that easy to judge realm of superiority where you know you'll do better when you get the chance.  But you don't do that.  I applaud this girl for writing the truth.  About not swallowing another spoon-full of guilt and for not allowing society to tell her that she's not 100% a mother 100% of the time.  Even when she's at work or at the park checking an email or texting a friend.
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Via Growing in a Shrinking Culture:
 Earlier today, I saw something going around Facebook called something like “Dear Mom on the iPhone.” If you haven’t seen it, I’m sure you’ve at least seen or read something similar at some point. It goes something like this:      “Dear Mom on the iPhone…Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.      You aren’t.      Your little boy keeps shouting, ‘Mom, MOM watch this!’ I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way.      He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.”  OK I get it, I really do. We live in an age that is so technology obsessed, that we are at risk of missing out on real life. We suffer with the tyranny of the urgent, which often causes us to miss out on the important. Just as iPhones make it easier to stay connected to social networks and emails, they also make it easier to miss what is happening right in front of our noses. Push notifications make us feel needed and important, and as if we never have to miss out on anything. They can sometimes demand and own all of our attention. I agree that this can be a legitimate concern for our culture. It can threaten our relationships with our friends, our spouse, and of course, our children. And at times I have felt convicted that I need to stay offline while Riley is awake and on some days I do a really good job at it! (and other days, not so great).  But here’s what I don’t get: why are there always so many negative posts and chastisements toward mothers when it comes to parenting, but very little positive reinforcements and encouragement? Why are there so many articles, blog posts, open letters gone viral, etc. that fuel mom guilt? Other mothers out there know what I mean when I say “mom guilt.” It seems to be something we naturally, instinctively have and wrestle with the minute our first child is born. We don’t really need condemning articles and opinions on discipline, being a working mother, daycare, domesticity, creative parenting, and technology use to get our guilty conscience to kick into gear. Even if they are written in the name of godly conviction.  A guilty reminder that we might miss a moment with our child is honestly not what we need. It is not going to be the grace-fueled motivation we need to pursue godly parenting.  Let’s say this hypothetical iPhone mom is a SAHM (stay at home mom). Let me tell you something about her, that I know from experience:  Know what she has a lot of? Sweet moments watching her children do things like spinning around in their dresses or watching them show off or watching as they bring you something they just discovered. Moments to play with her baby on the floor, read a book over and over again with excited inflections, moments of teaching them the sounds that animals make and about the clouds that our Creator designed. Moments of laughter and tickle fights and hugs and kisses. And for this reason, she is thankful that she has the opportunity to stay at home full time with her child(ren).  But do you know what she doesn’t have a lot of? Time to herself. Time to respond to an email. Time to read the News or thought provoking articles on culturally relevant and important topics.  So let’s just say that after a long day (or string of days) of playing “hide-and-go-seek” and dress up and Legos, and fort building and teaching shapes and sounds and singing, “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” she takes her kids to the park so that they can play by themselves, exercising their imaginations, twirling in their dresses, climbing the monkey bars, and swing while she breathes in some fresh air, sits down by herself, and browses some articles and catches up on some emails. I say good for her. Because you know what? She needs a break. For the love, just give her one! Stop judging her parenting for one mili-second.  And if she’s on Facebook and Twitter or Instagram? Well let me tell you something else about SAHM on her iPhone. She doesn’t have co-workers that she can complain about her boss with or laugh at the ironic typo in the memo that was just sent out to the whole office. She doesn’t have a peer in the cubicle beside her to have an adult conversation or relatable moment with. So if, while her child(ren) are playing joyfully at the park, she checks her networks for a sigh of relief that there are other mom’s out there she knows whose child just pooped in the bath or who have only had 2 hours of sleep and find themselves putting the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge, I say good for her. Because you know what? She needs that.  Give a sister a break.  Where are the blog posts and articles and open letters that say things like, “Hey mom that is singing a song out loud in public with your child, you’re doing a good job!” or “Hey mom that is working and putting your child in daycare trying to provide for your family, you’re doing a good job!” or even “Hey mom who is about to lose it because you’ve been up to your neck in laundry and dishes and tantrums and teething and spilled milk and poopy diapers, for crying out loud put your kids in front of the TV for a few minutes, take a hot shower, brush your hair and check your email BECAUSE THAT IS OK!!!”  I’m just saying I’d like to read those posts.  Because as much as our kids do need our undivided attention and affection, they don’t need the entire universe to revolve around them. Because as much as they need moms to teach them and listen and be a part of their day, they also need to learn how to entertain themselves, and play with other kids and siblings. Because moms need to eat, and pee, and talk to a friend or have time with their spouse and the kids need to learn that they don’t have the trump card at all times to interrupt and demand everyone’s full attention.  And because sometimes you just need to grab your iPhone to send a text like this, so you don’t feel alone."

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And on a lighter note, did you see that actor Dan Stevens, who plays Matthew from Downton Abbey, recently ditched his blond hair for dark locks.  Well done Matthew.  Very well done. 
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MEAL PLANNING MADE SIMPLE WEEK 8


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27 comments:

  1. Thanks for this healthy and balanced diet..:)
    Android Developer

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  2. Love the response to "hey mom on your iphone" - thanks for posting!

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  3. Loved that article, thank you for sharing as you know all too well I can relate. Let me know how the Spicy Thai noodles are, I have been wanting to make them:)

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  4. That article was amazing! Thanks from this SAHM! (Who has given up FB for Lent... Torture...)

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  5. I can totally relate to that article. People often question SAHMs and what we do all day. My answer is,"I use up all the hours doing things for my family and business and wish for more". No matter what, its never a good idea to judge someone out of the few minutes that you see, not knowing the whole story.

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  6. Love the article! So nice to read on this Monday morning.

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  7. you plan the best meals -- can I come over and eat at your house! xo

    http://allthingsprettyandlittle.blogspot.com/

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  8. I don't plan on cooking anything before Wednesday. I loved dark haired men...or bald, yes I do.

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  9. That article is the best response to the Iphone Mom post, thank you for reposting it, it was like music to my ears this morning!

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  10. Love that article! I'm not a mom yet, but it's nice for all women to be given this reminder. After all, we are our own worst critics. I have a friend who just recently left work to stay at home with her daughter and she's been struggling with not having other "mommy friends" to talk about things with, so I'm sure this article would really resonate with her too.

    And is it just me or does the dark hair make him look much slimmer?

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  11. Ok, so it seems that I'm making soup this week ;)
    Great article!

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  12. Yes, I loved that response to the iphone mom post! I'm so tired of the guilt and finger pointing and holier than thou attitudes. Motherhood is HARD and we should always offer support first.

    I've been loving your menu posts. I've gotten several good recipes to add to my rotation. Thank you!

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  13. Great article! Thanks for sharing!

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  14. Can I can a Mother beeping heel yeah!! Great article girl!!

    ps You know I love a blonde man, so I am kinda sad about the hair change ;)

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  15. That was an excellent article, thanks for sharing. www.styleoyster.blogspot.com

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  16. That is an excellent read, thank you for sharing it, Julia. I should write more about motherhood, not because I know everything, but because it's FREAKING HARD WORK and we women are so hard on ourselves, and on others, and we DO need to encourage and applaud each other more!!! As with everything in life, it's a balancing act and we need all the positivity we can get. And if that means taking 5 minutes to read an inspiring article that lifts up your heart, then yes mama take a few minutes before turning your attention back to your beautiful twirling girl at the park!

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  17. Great article!! I don't know why women constantly judge and put each other down, when we should all be supportive and helping each other out!

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  18. YES to the color change. He looks much better in dark hair :) And those meals look amazing! So enjoyed reading the article, too :)

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  19. Thanks for sharing my enchilada recipe! Happy to have found your site!

    xo, the improv kitchen

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  20. Thanks for sharing the article! Just what I needed this week :)

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  21. Thanks so much for sharing this - I just found your blog and it is quickly becoming one of my favorites. As a stay at home Mommy I can totally relate to this especially on a snowy day like today..this is exactly what I needed.
    Jennifer
    www.alldressedupinluv.blogspot.com

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  22. Amen! I remember feeling so isolated as a stay at home mom . Years later, more kids later , I feel like I have a life outside of motherhood without leaving my house. Blogs , texting, snapchat are a lifeline:)

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  23. bitches need to stop judging- that article was great! also, now Matthew looks less dumb with his dark hair! love that show and you with all my heart! xoxo

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  24. I have been wanting to try that tomato soup with grilled cheese croutons. Also, love the mom with the iphone article! thank you for posting.

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  25. I saw that ridiculous Mom on the Iphone article last week and was disgusted, Thank you so much for posting the response-great post!
    Meredith
    http://www.ahighcottonstyle.blogspot.com/

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